My name is Darren Kilgariff. I’ve worked as a mental health nurse for over 30 years. In that time I’ve supported hundreds of people through some of the hardest moments of their lives — and I thought that experience had prepared me for anything.
Then my dad got ill.
And I realised very quickly that knowing the system professionally and navigating it personally are two completely different things. The paperwork. The phone calls. The decisions nobody warns you are coming. The exhaustion that creeps up on you so gradually you don’t notice it until you’re running on empty.
I found myself in the same position as millions of other people across the UK — doing my best, making it up as I went along, and wishing someone would just tell me what I needed to know.
That’s why I created UK Carers Guide.
Not as a healthcare professional talking down to you from a position of authority. But as someone who has sat where you’re sitting — worried, tired, and trying to do right by someone they love — and also happens to have three decades of clinical experience to draw on.
The guide I’ve written is the book I wish someone had handed me. Practical, honest, and written for real people in real situations — not for filing cabinets or policy documents.
If you’re caring for someone right now, or you can see that road coming, I hope what you find here makes it feel a little less lonely.
Darren Kilgariff
Mental Health Nurse | Author | Carer